Run No 754

Hash House Harriers Christmas Run

December 28, 2003

 

           

Well it’s the Annual Christmas Run and we need the wholesome physical exercise before starting off on another session of calorie-laden debauchery .  These were still the mild days before Father Winter made his onslaught on cold-fearing  Ontarians, so mild temps,  no snow on the street and lots of eager and anxious athletic harriers chomping at the bit to start their race.  Oral Sox and TwoJugs were doing the honours by setting the path, starting off in some nondescript burbian parking lot, with the only distinguishing feature that it was right next to the liquor store and only a bottle throw away from the Hare House and today’s on-on location.  We’re lolling and strolling about in the balmy weather  waiting for the considerable crowd to appear, dressed in various Christmas apparel such as seasonal hats, bells and balls.  And there seemed to be quite a few of those inclined today to push themselves away from the groaning food tables and start some vigorous exercise.  Exercise, what exercise?  This was a dull plodding through a suburban landscape that was so grey and lacklustre  that I don’t even remember where the hell it trudged along.  Oh yes, through some parking lots, some park land, and past  the occasional little man-made lake, giving cause to name neighbouring apartments with grandiose monikers like “Lake View Estates”.  The only highlight of this jaunt was that Barbie gave me some  Canadian Tire money found along the way. 

 

Soon enough we are done with this useless traipsing around and arrive at the Hares’ house, where all semblance of healthy behaviour is thrown off and we start on the beer, the hot toddies, and the down downs.  In between, people start scarfing down the appetizers, lugged along by hasher foodies, such as chips, dips, and latkes with applesauce. 

 

Down downs were given out like so many Christmas presents as follows:

 

To the Hares Oral Sox & TwoJugs

To non-runner Just Ann - who happens to be Mrs. Robinson’s sister

To Backsliders  HandJob & Hyena

To Scousebitch for using non-hash names

To Phart for peeing on trail and again for wearing a hat in the circle

To Oral Sox & TwoJugs for leaving the OH3 sign behind at the previous hash

No doubt more down downs were handed out, but yours truly was too busy drinking to note them all.

However, ET did take the time to Accuse Webmaster of not posting her beloved  hash trash onto cyberspace - at which he riposted that he had never received it.  TwoJugs had to admit that it was in Black Widows box, but he doesn’t go there.  This put Black Widow  in the circle joined eagerly by  Dyscount with the feeble excuse that “when one GM drinks they all drink”.

 

Then, following the delicious smell of cooking, upwards into the home we traipse tripping over the enormous pussy of the house, to scarf down more delicious appetizers  and check out the pre-prepared President Choice turkey - you just pop it in - no foreplay required! -  and marvellous desserts.  Mrs. Robinson & ButtUgly came late or perhaps earlier - decked out in x-mas shoes big enough to squash said pussy.  Although  ET and Phart were loath to leave such a jolly affair, they were off to another event and did not witness the total descent into drunkenness of said hashers.  So wishing the gang a Happy New Year, off into the winter darkness  we descend, leaving behind the light and warmth of the hash revelry and on  on to the next.