Run No 759

A Damn Cold Honeymoon Hash

February 8, 2004

 

Hare & Pseudo-Hare: Phart & DeeBrah

 

Hares: Beatle, TwoJugs, Jabberwocky & Just Laura, Just Carissa, Mr. & Mrs. Vandermin, DeepShaft,

Dyscount, GoodCrack, Bonkers & ET

 

Since Valentine’s Day is ET & Phart’s  anniversary, they  have this thing about it and try to do it once a year, but this year we’re a bit premature, hoping to get off to some hot spot the week after.  Meeting place is Timmy’s in Chippawa - a busy bustling lot with tons of traffic and cops coming in for their free coffee.  It being a Pre-Valentine hash ET is dressed in red, in hippie-like  fashion, making  Mr. Vandermin reminisce that she looks like something from Easy Rider. Here TwoJugs piped up that ET was always an easy piece, wishful thinking eh.  This was probably one of the coldest days of winter, which was evident as soon as we left the relative shelter of the Tim Horton lot with its aura and aroma of hot coffee and warm donuts.  Right off we get onto a false trail, running along the shores of the frigid ice-covered Welland River. On on we plod, past some big piles of road salt on to the Niagara River, with its icebergs floating grimly in the chilly waters.  Pounding our way over an icy pedestrian bridge, we are almost blown away by the wintry wind.  In a light interlude we have DeeBrah rolling down a snowy  hill like a little avalanche, which  got her dizzy, or even more so.  Finally we veer away from the cold and frigid waterways into a little parkland, where we try to run as lightly as a penguin, so as not to crash through the frozen trail and get our running shoes stuck in ice shards. Shivering through the bleak arctic landscape, I am reminded of the Inuit movie Atanarjuat - The Fast Runner, a cinematographic image that resonated with Beatle, but at least I still had my clothes on. So on and on we run, with the frigorific gale blowing front and back.   Fortunately we have a Beerstop at the Y-Not Bar, so we can warm up a bit, but the cold beer makes us wanna pee even more.  Frozen hashers having resorted  to numerous short cuts we finally land back at the Tim H parking lot, where it was decided to cross the street for the down downs, which were administered by Dyscount as follows:

 

To Hare Phart , because the weather was too hot and the course badly marked

To Mr. Vandermin  - for making concrete suggestions

To GoodCrack for living up to her name and straddling a snowbank

To DeepShaft for chivalry on trail helping GoodCrack off said snowbank

To GM Dyscount for word associations such as deep throat, deep crack, good crack

To Bonkers for clinging  to GoodCrack - no one likes a clingy lawyer

To Phart for dropping “gull-ible bird seed, a cardinal sin”

DeeBrah should have gotten a down down  for being a pseudo-hare  - i.e. driving around with Phart on Saturday morning  and looking it over.  And  Sunday morning found her  in bed or otherwise occupied so Phart had to do it alone. But she had already gone, no doubt back to the warm bed. It being too cold for more down downs we moved into the  Boat House Bar for an on on  - Beer, pizza and wings - too many carbs for the Dr. Atkinson’s diet that some hashers were on.  Well, we never warmed up till the next day, or the next week, when we jumped in a plane, leaving the actual Valentine’s Day Hash to another Hare & Hounds.

 

On-on and over and out                                                                             Reported by   ET