Run No 755

First Annual One + One Hash

January 11, 2004

 

 

On this occasion Scousebitch had the bright idea to tell everyone to bring a friend to the hash, if they had  one, but our real best friends are fellow hashers since the rest of the world think we are just too weird for human intercourse.  So this brought us:

 

Hares: Scousebitch and Bullitt

 

Hashers: Oral Sox, TwoJugs, ButtUgly & Mrs Robinson, Black Widow, GoodCrack & Just Ann freshly from England, Golden Showers,  ET,  Phart,  Bonkers, DeeBra,  Just Mike who came on the bus hopefully without messing his seat, Barbie, DeepShaft,   Just  Neil a.k.a. Just Shit and Zig Zag who, as is his wont, shows up at the beer stop 

 

So GoodCrack, a former Burlington Good Friday race organizer and latter British hasher, joining her first OH3 Hash since she needs a social life, brought  her real-life friend Just Ann, hopefully still her friend after this ordeal, but I haven’t seen her since. 

Phart & ET brought some so-called friends, but they turned out to be  recycled hashers 

Golden showers brought last night’s date, his right hand, and that was it for friends, proving the statement above.

 

Location was Hidden Valley Park in Burlington, and after standing around shivering in our nickers for a while, we circled up, did intros and took off, following a nice trail meandering through woods, over wooden bridges, trying to avoid the  icy spots, and looking for a sheltered site to paint the snow yellow which is hard to do with minimal winter foliage.  And yellow were the summer shorts of  DeeBrah now unfortunately covered up by winter gear and complaints about being cold, leading to wishful thinking on behalf of some male hashers to bring back the summer and half naked butts.  Ambling along at a not too demanding pace leads to casual conversation and personal revelations so this is where I found out that Mrs. R and ButtUgly are an item, and will make Cardiff their (second) honeymoon. Chugging along up a hill, we look down on a wintery Krieghoff scene of young lads  playing on the ice-covered lake, a picture so quintessential Canadian that I want to break out in an anthem.  The trail having been marked by birdseed, we find that this is either not there or gone to the birds, but considering the cold the hares decide to keep it short, so there were not too many false trails going.  There was a beer stop, where the habitually late Zig-Zag shows up, but this being the month of Ramadan for yours truly, we decide to stick to water, although we could have used some cognac to warm up our cockles.  A final jaunt past some human habitats and we are back where we started, and after some more shivering and standing around, get to the Down Downs, as follows:

 

 

For the hares for being too considerate of the icy spots, putting down too much birdseed and having

no cashews in the mix

For virgins Ann,  Neil and  Mike

For GoodCrack & Oral Sox for bringing up the rear

For Mrs. Robinson and ButtUgly for canoodling to the tune of The sexual Life of the Camel, and again for peeing on trail to the tune of “Why are waiting, could be urinating...”

For ZigZag for being a recidivist - a.k.a. repeat offender, again showing up at the beer stop

For Scousebitch & Barbie for using geek names, on which occasion ScouseBitch said “give it to me first”, music to the ears of Bullitt

For Barbie again for keeping his hat on

For DeeBra & Bonkers being backsliding bastards

For Bonkers again for keeping his hat on

Prick of the week award went to ButtUgly for having the ugliest coat

For DeepShaft - hat on

For ET for dyeing her hair red, which gets pretty personal, don’t you think

For Oral Sox since she forgot the chalice - the cat ate it

For Oral Sox again because she motherly-like cleaned up Barbie’s  hat that was stomped upon.  While Oral Sox starts de-hatting in order to receive the chalice,  Golden Shower starts yelling: “Take it off... take it ALL off!”, leading to an ugly reaction from Black. Widow reminding Shower Boy: “That’s my mom, you Asshole!”

 

So much for the down-downs, at least for the ones I wrote down, because extreme cold froze the lead in my pencil,  so thankfully we move on to a nice warm bar for the on-on. 

Here DeeBra shows in good form putting tomato juice in her beer and discussing  ages with the young folk, which might lead one to the conclusion that there are more than one Mrs. Robinson in the Hash and young boys who want to be in that movie.  There was the revelation that Mike has  hashed in Buenos Aires and is the son of Kermit, so no mental gyrations required for giving him a hash name since he is already Frogspawn. 

And having refueled and rehydrated, it is time to pay up, and it is Golden Showers who heads up the task of collecting and counting the cash.  Like the proverbial Christies Auction, the price goes up every time he checks his wad, but finally we have pulled out enough to pay for our munchies and reward the winsome waitress so we jump in the chariot heading home.